Tag: Depression

Smoke in the Kitchen

Posted on by pastorunity

God sees past our failures to hearts that He loves.

Earlier in the afternoon, my amazingly gifted wife Laurie successfully defended her doctoral dissertation and was recognized, for the very first time, by her board chair as Dr. McCracken. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, who confirmed this personally, my love language is gift-giving, which supplements one of my favorite hobbies, cooking. So, off to the local Fresh Market I went, hand-selecting the two finest specimens of filet mignon, fresh asparagus, and the largest potatoes I could find. That night I did everything right, got the filets to room temperature, dry brined each steak, reverse-seared the meat by starting them in the oven at a lower temperature, and then finishing on a cast-iron skillet. With both ovens employed, and two stovetops active, I owned that kitchen like Guy Fieri until it was time to butter the potatoes for that crisp skin, then I turned into Julia Child! In my head, my wife would soon be cutting into her medium steak, steam rising from the tender pink filet, and she would smile and say, “this is even better than Ruth’s Chris Restaurant, thank you.” That vision went up with the smoke coming from the skillet when our vent failed to work, resulting from a previous kitchen fire. The garlic basil butter I added increased the amount of smoke, and with no vent in the kitchen, I literally could not see the steaks. Blowing profusely, I thrust a thermometer into one of the steaks and was shocked the temperature was only 130, not the desired 160, so I kept flipping and counting and checking, even using another thermometer in case the first was faulty. Going with my gut, I pulled the skillet off the stove and placed it on the island cutting board, and waited for the smoke to clear. Once I could see the steaks, I moaned; they were no longer steaks but charred disks of burned cow meat; both thermometers were broken! Smoke alarm going off in the living room, I had the back deck door, and garage doors opened, fans on, as I made my way with plates of disgrace to be presented on the table. Looking at my wife, I apologized and bowed my head as she prayed for our meal. “Father,” she started, “please be with Tom and help him to realize that the time he spent preparing this meal means more to me than anything else” after she had finished praying, she lifted her head and reassured me, “it’s ok, I love you.” 

I am confident that whoever you are, there have been times when your final product looked, or tasted, nothing like you envisioned or dreamed. Perhaps even as you evaluate your life recently, you might confess who you are is not who you dreamed you would be. It may be that you don’t think you’re making that much of a difference for God, that you’re not doing, investing, going, or serving as much or as often as you had planned. Or that what you’ve done for God isn’t’ as great as others that seem to be accomplishing some fantastic things for the kingdom, making steaks while you serve charred patties. But, don’t you think that God sees your motivations, your efforts, over your own perceived quality of a final product? 

After Peter denied Jesus, he started to believe the devil’s lies, that he was no longer usable and that God could not, would not, forgive or love him ever again. Peter thought that his life as a disciple was over since the last meal he made Jesus was a scorched steak, I digress. Nevertheless, Peter did feel the effects of having his grandiose visions of loyalty to Jesus depart when he failed, so he gave up and went back to fishing. Yet early one morning, while out in the boat with his friends, a figure appeared on the shore and called to them; it was Jesus. Peter didn’t even wait to turn the boat around and paddle in; he lept off and swam as hard as he could! What did he find? Jesus was making him breakfast. It was at this time that Jesus reminded Peter that his calling and usability were still in force with the statement, “feed my sheep.” (John 21:17). Jesus was more concerned with the process, not the final product; Jesus understood that Peter was not perfect, he would make mistakes, and that was ok. 

My wife saw my heart, even through the smoke in the kitchen, and appreciated the love that motivated me to cook a meal for her, even more than the taste. God sees past our flaws, mistakes, baggage, scars, and imperfections, He sees our heart, and as long as you desire to please Him, you can be assured, even when you feel you’ve failed, He is saying, “it’s ok, I love you.”

Scripture: I Samuel 16:7b, “For the LORD sees not as man sees; man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” (ESV) 

Question: Have you ever felt inadequate, unworthy, or as if what you offer God is not good enough?

Prayer: Father, there are so many times I feel so unworthy and inadequate, times when I don’t feel what I bring, is making a difference or matters. There are days when I have good intentions but not enough time and great ideas that seem to come up short. Please help me remember that you are not after perfection; you just want me to love you, and sometimes that is messy, chaotic, disorganized, and not pretty. Thank you for your patience and for seeing past the smoke of my imperfect life into my very heart. May I not be so focused on the final product that I fail to enjoy your love during the preparation. Thank you for your patience, grace, care and for making me feel special. I love you. In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen

Chariot of Fire

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Overcoming depression by remembering the presence of God.

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Standing like a giant sequoia in a forest of ferns, the Old Testament prophet Elijah’s faith and power were unlike anything the Nation of Israel had experienced, both seen in chapters 18 and 19 of the Book of I Kings. In chapter 18, we find God sending Elijah to a widow’s home to rest for a few days. While there, it was discovered the widow and her son had no food and were preparing their final meal before succumbing to death. Elijah delivered a miracle of an endless supply of olive oil and flour with but a whisper of a prayer. A few days later, that widow’s son fell in sickness and died, leaving the widow thinking her sins had caught up with her, and God’s hand of judgment would strike her down next. Elijah brought the boy to his room, laid him on the bed, said a prayer, and the boy was raised from the dead.  There was no doubt to Elijah that God was with him and that with God nothing was impossible.

After leaving the widow’s home, God directed Elijah to confront the most wicked and vile leadership Israel had known, King Ahab. Elijah commanded the king to have Israel meet him by an abandoned altar of God on Mount Carmel with the 850 false prophets that had been leading God’s people astray. Once assembled, Elijah instructed 450 prophets of Baal to construct an altar, sacrifice a bull, and call their god to bring fire from heaven to consume the sacrifice. Hour after hour, these false prophets called to their God with no response, even cutting their flesh with swords and spears, dancing and shouting with nothing but silence. After hours of this vain foolishness, Elijah called them over to the abandoned altar of God. He had them watch as he repaired it, used 12 stones to construct a new altar, dug a trench around it, cut the bull into pieces which he laid on the wood, and had some of them fill the trench with water three times, enough to run down the altar filling the entire trench. Elijah then called to God and asked for the sacrifice to be consumed by fire. With that, fire came down from heaven, consumed the sacrifice, wood, stones, and even licked up all of the water. Then Elijah took the false prophets down to the valley and had them executed.

Elijah single-handedly cleansed the Nation of Israel of false prophets, put an evil king in his place, ushered in a revival, and then called for rain to bring an end to the famine! Yet, just days later, we find Elijah under a broom tree asking God to, “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died” (I Kings 19:4, ESV). How can such a strong man of faith who had consistently demonstrated power from God, go from victory to “woe is me” faster than a baptist to a buffet line after church on Sunday? The answer seems to be in a letter Jezebel, the wicked wife of King Ahab, sent to Elijah when she heard her false prophets had been slain. In that letter, she promised that in 24 hours, Elijah would suffer the same fate as her prophets, death by sword. Could one woman’s words bring such a man of God from mountain to valley? Could one critic change the course and direction of a prophet of God? Or, could there be other reasons for Elijah’s shift from hero to zero?


Perhaps he did allow the voice of opposition to strike fear into his heart. Maybe he was just worn, weary, and weak from years of labor, thus spiritually fragile. Perhaps he considered his best days behind him; after all, how could he top a Mount Carmel experience? Maybe he was just so discouraged and done with a hateful and hurtful world that continually rejected God? While we don’t have a definitive answer, we do know that it was not much longer after this that God replaced Elijah with another prophet, Elisha, and took him home to heaven. 

While many commentators focus on the negative, Elijah allowed his discouragement to transition him out of ministry, I have a different take; perhaps God allowed Elijah to enter into His rest as a reward for years of faithful service. To know that God is intimately involved in our everyday, routine, mundane lives should bring us comfort. Elijah served a God that knew how much he could handle, how strong he was, and when it was time to call his son in from the storm. In II Kings, Elijah is walking with his successor Elisha when a chariot of fire, pulled by horses of fire, swept him off his feet; transporting him to heaven in a whirlwind (II Kings 2). I don’t see a God that is angry with him for not being strong enough but a God that knew the heart of his child and gave him the rest he so desperately needed.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not endorsing or condoning you to isolate and insulate yourself from this world, allowing depression to set in, and asking God to end your life; what I am suggesting is that God knows you and in His time will give you the rest you so desperately need. If you are going through a valley today, please remember that God has not taken the eyes of His love off of you, and He knows how much you can take and will give you the rest you long for at just the right time. So, hold on, keep the faith, don’t let go, and one day, your chariot of fire will sweep you off your feet and take you home.

Scripture: “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” -I Cor. 10:13, ESV

Question: Are you tired of the hurts and pains associated with this life? Do you feel ready to go home, that your work on this earth is done? Are you about to collapse under the weight of a heavy burden?

Prayer: Father, there are times that I feel trapped in a world of pain with no way out, times when the sins of this world are about to overtake me and overcome my faith. Please remind me that life is full of mountains and valleys and that your presence is sufficient for me to endure. Father, I want to be faithful till the end. Please grant me the faith to believe, the strength to continue, and a glimpse of the finish line when I will be able to rest, with you, forever. Thank you for knowing and promising to take care of me. In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen. 

A Better View

Posted on by pastorunity

Knowing this present life will not be our best gives us hope worth dying for.

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Excited about my newfound faith in Jesus Christ, I couldn’t wait to sit down and talk with a pastor; I had so many questions. My then-girlfriend Laurie and I traveled to her hometown in Southwest Virginia to speak with her childhood pastor to answer my questions and talk about baptism. Pastor Chuck loomed over his office desk, a large and stately man in his 50’s that had transitioned out of the coal mines of Virginia to follow the calling into ministry.

To say that I was intimidated from the moment I entered his office would be an understatement. From his large hands that swallowed mine when we shook to his booming bass voice that welcomed me in, Pastor Chuck communicated conviction, faith, and power by his words and body language; this was a man marked with confidence that inspired others to believe. Sitting in a chair facing his desk, I told Pastor Chuck about my recent salvation and my desire to be baptized; even sharing my testimony caused me to be filled with excitement all over again. After planning out my future baptism service; I moved on to my most pressing question, “Pastor Chuck, I know forgiveness, joy, and love like never before. If all of these blessings are evident this early in my walk of faith, what can I look forward to with a life in Christ?”. Pastor Chuck leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms, and looking at me as a doctor with a terminal diagnosis would look at a patient just before relaying the bad news. I will never forget his next words, “Brother Tom, you are now an enemy of the devil, this world, and your flesh. You must be prepared. In your life, you will experience a trial by fire; a circumstance the likes of which you’ve never had to endure before.” I left the office that day a little discouraged, with “trial by fire” resonating in my head like a ghostly voice echoing the halls of a house in a bad horror flick.

Thirty years later, I realize his words to be valid. Yet, Jesus didn’t leave us unprepared; he told believers often that this world is full of pain and sorrow, our flesh is at constant war with the Spirit, and Satan and his legion of demons are now targeting us to destroy our testimony, weaken our influence, and hurt the very heart of God (Ecc. 2:23, I Pet. 5:8, Mt. 26:41, Eph. 4:30).

I have gone through some severe trials in my life, and there are many more around the corner, of that I am confident. However, my faith is stronger than ever because my hope is anchored to the throne of God. I believe attitude has much to do with the victories we claim over such times of hardships. Our choir director used to lead our adult congregation with the words, “this joy that I have, the world didn’t give it to me…the world didn’t give it, and the world can’t take it away”. What a wonderful reminder that every good and perfect gift is from above and protected by the Father of Lights (James 1:17).

I am confident that you have endured some great times of trial and tribulation, times when you didn’t think any more tears could be produced; like your very heart had been ripped out from your chest. Let me remind you that while we are told in this life, we will have tribulation, this life is short, and the next life will be more extraordinary forever (John 16:33, Ja. 4:14, Mt. 6:19-20). 

Please consider Chrysostom’s following historical account, a man who would have told a young, newly saved and excited, Tom McCracken, the same thing Pastor Chuck did. 

Chrysostom was “a godly leader in the fourth-century church, who preached so strongly against sin that he offended the unscrupulous Empress Eudoxia as well as many church officials. When summoned before Emperor Arcadius, Chrysostom was threatened with banishment if he did not cease his uncompromising preaching.

His response was, “Sire, you cannot banish me, for the world is my Father’s house.” “Then I will slay you,” Arcadius said. “Nay, but you cannot, for my life is hid with Christ in God,” came the answer. “Your treasures will be confiscated,” was the next threat, to which John replied, “Sire, that cannot be, either. My treasures are in heaven, where none can break through and steal.” “Then I will drive you from man, and you will have no friends left!” was the final, desperate warning. “That you cannot do, either,” answered John, “for I have a Friend in heaven who has said, ‘I will never leave you or forsake you.’”

John was indeed banished, first to Armenia, and then farther away to Pityus on the Black Sea, to which he never arrived because he died on the way. But neither the banishment nor his death disproved or diminished his claims. The things that he valued most highly not even an emperor could take from him.”

MacArthur, John. Matthew 1–28.In MacArthur New Testament Commentary. Moody Publishers, 1989.

Scripture: “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” -Romans 8:38-39, ESV

Question: Have you allowed circumstances to disrupt your life instead of serving as a reminder of the hope you have in Jesus Christ?

Prayer: Father, I am weak. There are times when I feel that everything around me is collapsing and falling apart. Please help me remember that all of the blessings you have freely given can’t be touched by Satan or circumstance. Thank you for the firm foundation of your love; the peace that passes understanding, the strength to endure, the faith to believe, and a future worthy of high expectation. Please help me during the seasons of trials to remember that you have a plan. Please help me see that no matter how trying my life may get, there is coming a day when you will wipe away every tear, still every mind, change every body, fix everything broken, right every wrong, and make all things new. Thank you for loving me. In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

Hooked!

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Have you ever considered what a full surrender would do in and through your life?

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In the 1991 movie Hook, Robin Williams plays the grown-up Peter Pan, who has returned to Neverland and finds himself trying to prove, to the still-young Lost Boys, that he is, in fact, Peter Pan. The Lost Boys cannot recognize Peter as he has grown old, gained weight, wears glasses, and has wrinkles. Tinker Bell, who knows this aged man to be the real Peter Pan, convinces some of the Lost Boys to give Peter a second look.

After everyone has given up, the smallest of the Lost Boys makes his way over to Peter, guides him down to his knees so that he can be face to face, and gives Peter a closer look. He removes Peter’s glasses, and with both hands, pushes back the wrinkles on his forehead, straightens out the lines surrounding his eyes, and then pushes the fat on his cheeks far out of the way to remove the many years. While holding the wrinkles back, he looks into Peter’s eyes. He declares, “Oh, there you are, Peter!”—a revelation that causes many of the cynical and unbelieving Lost Boys to rush over with joy and become filled once again with hope.

I believe this to be the problem with the bride of Christ today. We have allowed complacency to fatten the church, selfishness to add many wrinkles, organization, legalism, and politics to dull her vision. Meanwhile, the world around us still hears and sees us but cannot recognize the once purpose-driven organism that had the power to change the world. I am convinced that once we surrender again to the Lordship of Jesus Christ, the lost people in this world will give us a closer look, push back our wrinkles, dysfunction, and sin, and declare, “Oh, there you are Church!”

Stepping off a ship, D.L. Moody arrived back in America from a trip to Europe, where he attended a revival held by Reverend Varley. During that revival, Varley challenged the congregation with the statement, “This world has yet to see what God could do with someone totally surrendered to Him.” With those words still resonating in his heart, Moody took his first step off that ship and uttered, “God, with your help, I aim to be that man.” 

What would happen to the world around us if the One within us could be seen free from distractions, distortions, and dysfunction? What if this world could see the church? 

Scripture: “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God-this is your true and proper worship.” -Romans 12:1, ESV

Question: Would you be willing to admit that over the years, your dedication to Christ and passion for His mission have been weakened by the things of this world?

Prayer: Father, I confess that I am not who I was when I first professed you as Lord and was baptized. I used to be so excited, passionate, and willing to be used for your glory, but lately, I have been struggling. I confess there to be things in my life that ought not to be there and some things I should be doing yet choose not to do. I want to reclaim my joy and fulfill my purpose to bring you glory and worship you in spirit and in truth. Please help me overcome every obstacle in your way, and may I be the change agent you have called and empowered me to be. In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

The Tear Collector

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What if your tears were that important they were sought out and collected?

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Collecting “things” has always excited me. While my collections’ objects have changed through the years, from baseball cards and coins to Beanie Babies and pens, my desire to amass things that I hold of value has not changed. I remember in my younger days, during my baseball card phase, seeking out that allusive rookie card, finding the perfect plastic holder, and displaying it proudly on a shelf. Once in a while, I would take it down, admire it, look up its current value, show it off, and put it back in its protected spot. What we collect reveals a piece of our heart; what we care about, what we love, who we are.

Did you know that God is a collector? And, what He collects will surprise you! I know what you’re thinking, God owns everything, why does He need to compile anything? If I am right, that what we collect reveals what we care about, what we love, who we are, then being exposed to God’s collection has a designed purpose. God wants us to see His collection. God wants to show off what He cares about. God wants to reveal a piece of His heart. So, what does God collect? Our tears. In Psalms 56:8, David proclaims, “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle.” How amazing and life-changing this truth can be if we but meditate on it for a bit. Our tears in God’s bottle? God is collecting our tears. All of those restless nights, tossing and turning, crying out in desperation, agony, pain, anguish, and sorrow from a hurt heart and troubled mind. Every one of those tears, God picks up as treasures to add to His collection. Each tear is that important to our Father. Every single tear you shed has a purpose and a place in the heart of God. I wonder how often He takes down that jar and admires it and protects it, as I did with my Ken Griffey Jr. rookie card back in the day?

God collecting our tears is yet another confirmation that Christianity offers something that no other religion in the world provides, an answer to suffering. Yes, every other religion has attempted to deal with the problem of suffering by telling us to avoid it, pray it away, grin and bear it, accept it as karma for your past life, etc.. Yet, Christianity tells us to “count it all joy” (James 1:2) when trials come. How can we rejoice and consider it joy when we feel like the rug of our lives has been ripped out from beneath us? Because we know that our Father is a genius at working all things out for us and that He has a plan and purpose for every trial that comes to us. When you feel like your world is falling apart all around you and the tears start to flow, remember who is collecting them and remember that for God to collect them must mean that God is right there as each tear falls. Those falling tears are so important to God that He is willing to be present when they fall to make sure they are collected in His jar.

So, the next time you cry out in pain and desperation, take note of that tear about to fall and remember how important it is to God that He is collecting it. Perhaps, since you know God has His jar out, about to add your tear to His collection, you might want to strike up a conversation with Him; it may help.

Scripture: “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle” -Psalm 56:8 ESV

Prayer: Father, usually when my tears fall, I feel alone, like no one understands or cares. Thank you for letting me know that you are right there and do care, that putting my tears in your jar means that you have not forgotten about me but care deeply for me. I look forward to seeing your collection of my tears one day and hearing each story that goes with them. Until then, please give me the strength and faith to trust that you know what’s best for my life and to always be grateful to The Tear Collector. In the name of Jesus, I pray, amen.